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March 16, 2010

Big Dating Myths — And Surprising Truths

Filed under: myth, study, truth — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 7:34 pm

MYTH: When you’re prepping to go out on the prowl, put on a barely there outfit — men like women who show lots and lots of skin.

TRUTH: A new study published in the journal Behaviour found that, to reel in the boys, the ideal amount of flesh you should reveal is 40 percent. A crop top and mini crosses the line from seductive to skanky.

MYTH: If you’re into a guy, make the first move on him.

TRUTH: Smile at him, but then wait for him to come to you. A Northwestern University study discovered that the person who does the approaching usually ends up falling harder.

MYTH: While chatting him up on a date, focus on your shared interests.

TRUTH: Discussing stuff you have in common will make you feel connected. However, it’s also key to talk about interesting personal experiences and hobbies that are different from his. According to experts, being exposed to new and exciting things increases the chemical dopamine in our bodies, and that in turn builds interest and passion.

MYTH: Eat a low-calorie meal like veggies and salad when out with a guy in order to show that you’re attractive and take good care of yourself.

TRUTH: Despite a recent study from McMaster University in Canada that found women tend to do just that, most guys actually go for chicks who will eat a real meal in front of them, says Scott Kudia, author of If This Is Love, Why Am I Unhappy? Not that you should stuff your face, but men want to be with someone who will be herself around him. Nibbling at rabbit food reads as phony and guarded.

MYTH: The first thing that grabs guys’ attention is your eyes.

TRUTH: In a Cosmo and AskMen.com poll, 62 percent of guys notice a hot body. Only 27 percent are lured in by seductive eyes. (See myth #1 for a tip on how to show off your curves in the sexiest way.)

MYTH: It’s a good idea to “friend” a guy you’re dating, so that you can get to know each other better and feel closer.

TRUTH: A study published in CyberPsychology and Behavior found that being Facebook friends with the person you’re seeing increases relationship jealousy (ahem, like by clicking through pics of each other with your respective exes). It also leads to a sense of over familiarity that can doom a relationship, particularly in the early stages.

MYTH: Don’t talk about yourself too much on a date or you’ll seem narcissistic. Instead, ask him plenty of questions.

TRUTH: You should absolutely show sincere interest in him. But it’s equally essential to refer to yourself during conversation. Men go for women who use the word I frequently, according to a study published in Personal Relationships. Researchers surmise it’s because that term indicates self-disclosure, which promotes intimacy and closeness. It also reflects your independence — a huge turn-on.

Dating Tips for Men

February 24, 2010

Five Photos That Actually Get Responses

Filed under: responses, study, women — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 1:38 am

Dating site OkCupid conducted a sizable study to unearth what types of photos garner the most responses. And everything I thought was a turn-off is actually a turn-on, at least if you’re measuring turn-ons by quantity of messages and not quality, which the study did.

By looking at profiles for 18-32 year olds with only one photo — and removing the worst- and best-looking people — the study revealed these terrifying truths about what attracts men and women.

  • Duckfaces. We don’t want to encourage this, since we wished duckfaces out with the last decade, but now it’s scientifically proven that the duckface works for women. Men? Nope. Look away from the camera. No smiling.
  • Coy self-portraits. OkCupid calls it the “Myspace photo” You know it. Camera held above the head, and the face looks so thin and so sassy. Believe it or not, these things work. In fact, OkCupid was so shocked by the findings that it removed all photos that revealed cleavage from the equation, but the Myspace photo triumphed.
  • Shirtless photos for men. Is OkCupid creepin’ with guidettes? Guys (caveat: with great bodies) get more responses with shirts off than on. There is one silver six pack: the ab photo’s effectiveness decreases with age.
  • Cleavage shots. The cleavage shot — surprise — works, drawing in 49 percent more responses than other photos. What is news is that it works better for older women. Of course by older, I mean like 30, since the study only looked at 18-32 year olds. OkCupid hypothesizes that the uptick is because women show off their bodies less by their mid-20s, so those who do reap the awards. If an award is the type of guy who’d contact you for showing cleavage.
  • Show your face… or not. It doesn’t really matter. OkCupid thought it did, advising users to use pictures that show their faces, but its study found that responses remained the same whether you showed your face or not.

One glimmer of hope is that while posing with your pet or doing something interesting got the fewest responses, they also got the highest quality of responses, which was measured by whether or not a conversation started.

Are you shocked? Disgusted? Never dating again?

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