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March 3, 2010

Looking For Love? Keep An Open Mind

After her divorce five years ago, Lisa Hook re-entered the dating world, unsure of what she’d find.

As a single working mother, Hook said she didn’t have time for bars or singles clubs. So she concentrated her efforts on reputable online singles sites.

“I’m not going to say it wasn’t scary at first,” said Hook, 45, a Rochester mother of two who works in publishing. “Everything was so different. It’s challenging with all the new media.”

Christie Laabs, 26, of Sterling Heights said her age group has a different problem.

“When we go out, people don’t talk to each other at bars,” says Laabs, who does freelance production work for Comcast’s Dating on Demand video dating service. “It’s not like on TV, where someone comes up and starts talking to you. People tend to just hang out in their own groups.”

Hook said all this leaves her wishing for an easy solution.

“It would be wonderful to just lock eyes and meet someone at Dairy Queen,” she said. “But I know that’s not going to happen.”

She’s right, said Shirley Bavonese, a licensed marriage and family therapist, who with her husband, Joe, cofounded and directs Relationship Institute in Royal Oak and Livonia. In an age of e-mail and texts, many singles expect instant results, but that won’t happen.

“You have to put some work into it,” said Bavonese, adding people often put more time into choosing a car than a date.

“The bottom line is if your goal is a lifetime partner, it’s going to take a while to find that person. Quick date, take a class, join a social club, but … put yourself out there.”

With the advent of online dating, there are more choices than ever, said Bavonese, who met her husband of 15 years through singles ads. Yet, Hook said online dating can be a “double-edged sword” for busy people.

“It increases the dating pool a thousandfold,” Hook said. “On the other hand, the competition is also increased. Or you might click online, and then meet and the chemistry’s not there.”

Bavonese suggests if you meet someone interesting, get offline quickly so you can get to know the person.

“As soon as you can, shift to a phone call, then to a meeting in a public place,” said Bavonese, a master social worker who also runs singles workshops.

Another big mistake is being overly picky, Bavonese said. She suggests making a list of what you’re looking for in a partner, with the top three qualities being lifelong ones that are absolute.

“Tall, dark and handsome will change,” she said. “What doesn’t change is kind, compassionate and willing to negotiate.”

Bavonese said before you begin lamenting the lack of decent men or women, examine if you have what it takes for a long-term relationship.

“You only draw people to you as healthy emotionally as you are,” she says. “You need to be a full person and happy with who you are if you’re going to look for a partner to complement you.”

That means it’s not only OK to be single, but imperative to take time between relationships.

March 1, 2010

Dating A Hottie Makes You Seem Hotter

Filed under: attractive, partner, women — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 12:33 pm

By Charles Q. Choi

If you wish to be alluring, you might want to pair up with a hot partner. A good-looking significant other will cause other potential mates to find you more desirable, new research suggests.

The results held more for women than men, who tend to find attractive ladies desirable no matter who they are intimate with.

While the findings might be especially helpful to singles, the researchers are interested in learning about the mysterious rules of attraction that apply throughout the animal kingdom.

Animals often choose mates by imitating the choices of others. For instance, female guppies typically prefer brightly colored males, but will switch to favoring drab ones if they see other females mating with them. Copying others could prove beneficial, especially for inexperienced individuals that mimic more experienced ones. Still, little is known about what underlies this behavior in any species.

Human see, human do?

To see if humans copy others as well, scientists had 30 male and 30 female volunteers who all described themselves as straight rate how attractive they found photos of 36 men and 36 women. The volunteers were then shown 144 pictures of men and women paired together and asked how desirable they would find long-term relationships with members of the opposite sex in the pictures.

Both male and female volunteers rated people in the pictures as more desirable when they were paired next to attractive companions, the scientists found. By using cameras to track eye movements during the experiments, the researchers also saw that when volunteers spent more time looking at a potential mate’s unattractive partner, they were less interested in that mate.

“Even though people were only asked to evaluate the potential mate in each photograph, they all spent a significant amount of time looking at the mate’s partner,” said researcher Jessica Yorzinski, an evolutionary biologist at the University of California, Davis. “Women spent more time looking at the partners that they found attractive, while men shifted their gaze back and forth more.”

In addition, while male volunteers were interested in attractive women regardless of their partners, female volunteers were more skeptical of attractive men if they were paired with unappealing companions. This difference might perhaps be rooted in how women are often choosier about mates then men.

“The men might have just had a higher level of interest in all potential mates, and were less discriminating than females would be,” Yorzinski said.

Playing the field

One perhaps unpleasant consequence might be that if you are attractive, would-be adulterers might find your spouse more desirable as well. Still, “we actually told subjects that the couples they were viewing were no longer together,” Yorzinski said. “We didn’t want to create a study about competition with someone already in a relationship, which would involve all kinds of issues.”

As such, these findings could actually help singles.

“If the single person was previously seen with an attractive partner, this could still boost their chances,” Yorzinski noted. “If you were a woman and a previous boyfriend was attractive and some other guy saw you with him, maybe that would increase your chances if you broke up and were available again. Or perhaps if women doing online dating Web sites are pictured with attractive boyfriends, that would help them get more responses with their ads.”

The researchers noted they only focused on the physical attractiveness of the partner, and that future research could investigate whether other aspects, such as personality, might also influence desires. Scientists could also explore the underpinnings of this behavior in the brain to see how these decisions are made.

“Furthermore, we would like to track the gaze of people in a more naturalistic setting, not just in front of a computer screen, as they choose their mates, perhaps to see where people look when trying to pick up a date at a bar or when speed dating ,” Yorzinski added.

The Pros And Cons Of Incontri vostri colleghi

January 26, 2010

Finding Sex Partners Through Adult Dating Sites

Filed under: adult, dating, people, sites — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 12:55 pm

Internet has become an integral part of our lives and nothing has remained untouched by it. While people join online dating sites for finding love partners in their life, adult dating sites are usually joined by people who are looking for sex with like-minded and consensual adults. The best part about these adult personals is that they ensure the complete anonymity of the users, which is not possible if you go out seeking for partners at places such as a bar or a disco.

One of the main reasons why people become a member of these adult dating sites is that they allow people to remain specific in their searching for their partner. The members can carry out specific searches as per their personal choices, such as couple sex and even sex groups. The profiles of adult dating members are often accompanied by photos and some adult personals even allow voice recordings and web cams to help the members find their sexual partners.

If you want to know more about these adult dating sites and want to find them over the Internet for free, then you can log on to www.findhotpeople.com to find your dating partner and enjoy those pleasurable moments.

How To Create Your Adult Dating Profile

Filed under: adult, dating, find, girls, profile — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 12:38 pm

If you are interested in dating sexy people online and have decided to join an adult dating site, then the first and most important step you will have to take is to create your profile. Visiting your profile is the only medium that will make the girls to be interested in communicating with you and therefore, you have to make it most sizzling and attention grabbing.

The first thing is your profile should be well written and free from any spelling or grammatical mistakes.

While writing your profile, never talk about your bad experiences with past relationships and never indicate that how keen you are to find a true love or a physical relationship. This will absolutely disinterest any woman and she will never click on your profile.

If you do not tell everything about your life in your profile and keep something secret, the girls will be interested in knowing more about you and will be interested in adult dating with you. However, you can talk about general things, such as your hobbies and your travels.

It is a fact that women love the men who have a passion for something and while creating your profile, talk about your passions, such as art and music.

Apart from all these things, try to add some humor in your profile so that more and more girls are attracted for online adult dating with you. If you want to know more about adult dating and find out some adult personals, then go on to Find Hot People

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