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December 13, 2011

How To Find Your Nerdy Soul Mate

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: date, dating, find, geek, geeks, life, love, meet, online, person, profile — admin @ 8:32 pm

Watching Doctor Who is almost always better with someone special. Most things are. If you have geeky tendencies – especially if they rule your life – it’s helpful to find someone who will appreciate them. There are plenty of single men and women in the geek dating scene, you just have to put a little effort into finding them. Though it can start online, you’ll eventually have to leave your house. You’ve been warned.

It’s easier than ever to meet like-minded people online. If you’re specifically looking for love, go to a website intended for just that. You can find geeks on Twitter and similar social media sites but keep in mind that not everyone is there to date. The same rule applies to MMO games.

When you sign up for an online dating service be honest about your passions and dislikes in your profile. Consider using the services of Geek’s Dream Girl. They write online dating profiles just for geeks, and they released an e-book about online dating for geeks. If nothing else, visit their section for online dating tips.

The online dating will hopefully result in phone conversations or an actual date in the three dimensional world. Again, don’t hide who you are. If someone was attracted to the mention of Star Wars in your profile (it can be a turn-on, just saying), feel free to talk about the movies. Remember that the prospect of a geek connection brought your date to the table. That said, it might not be the best idea to quiz your date on his or her geek knowledge either. You’ll be able to tell if someone is faking (dare I say it – pandering) geeky interests without going through an interrogation.

If you’d rather meet someone face to face first, you’ll have to get outside much sooner. Obviously, you’ll need to go places where geeks go. Chances are good that you already do that; you just have to open your eyes. I’m talking about your local comic book shop, a gaming store, or the action figure aisle at Target or Toys “R” Us. If you never see members of the opposite sex, change your routine. Going to those places at a different time of day could make a difference. Once you see someone picking up exactly the comic, toy, or set of dice you were considering, start a conversation. You have a ready-made topic; it’s hard to mess it up.

Actually, that’s not true. You could turn it sour by acting conceited or condescending. For example, don’t give an entire history of Spider-Man with your opinion on every issue without being asked. Don’t look down on someone if he or she is picking up an issue of Thor because of the new movie. Do ask questions. Ask about favorite issues or storylines, ask what game recently kept the person up late, ask which toys he or she collects, etc. If you’re shy, this gives you something to say. If the other person is shy, it gives him or her an open door so they don’t have to fumble for small talk.

Another obvious place to meet fellow geeks is at conventions. Attendance can range from a couple of thousand to over a hundred thousand. Surely there will be many singles are in the crowd. Again, they’re not all attending because they want to find someone to date. You never know where a conversation could lead though. Besides, it’s much more fun than keeping to yourself. These are your people! They will understand your passions or be able to argue intelligently against them.

One way to open the door at conventions (or in everyday life) is to wear your favorite nerdy t-shirt. You probably just found the perfect one on a t-shirt of the day website. It’s like wearing a sign that declares your love for, say, Stargate: SG-1. It makes it easy for another fan to start a conversation with you. You’re instantly approachable and that dissolves awkwardness.

The key in all situations, whether online or in real life, is to start talking and be honest. Remember that a significant other doesn’t have to match you geek for geek. It’s okay to have different areas of interest, and it’s probably for the best. Don’t discount someone because he or she doesn’t play Dungeons & Dragons. Take time to learn more before making any decisions. You should also consider the idea of dating a non-geek. I know geek dating non-geek couples, and it works for some. I like guys I date to know how to spell Tatooine, but that’s just me.

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December 10, 2011

Dating deja vu

Filed under: date, favorite, memory, relationship — Tags: date, favorite, memory, relationship — admin @ 10:31 pm

By Jess Lander

Oreo cake batter ice cream: my favorite flavor at my favorite ice cream shop, forever ruined because I introduced it to my ex and it became “our flavor.”

I wanted to continue to love this ingenious creation post-breakup, but all it ever led to was dozens of memories of hot summer days down by the Charles River in Boston, back when the idea of breaking up was inconceivable.

But eventually, Oreo cake batter ice cream went down in flames with a handful of favorite bands, songs, movies, TV shows, restaurants and of course, our relationship.

It was the kind of long-term, meaningful, but also devastating relationship that to this day, hovers around everywhere I look; the kind that turned me on to fro-yo, just because it was the completely opposite and healthy alternative to “our” dessert. I was also least likely to run into him that way.

I assume that most everyone has this kind of ex — no matter how much time has passed, no matter how over it you are or how many lovers have passed through since, something always manages to trigger a memory of what was, but is nevermore.

But if his preference for no toppings dueling with mine for loading on the chocolate fudge, caramel and gummy bears wasn’t enough of a sign, his first set of lies probably should have been. You live and learn, and thanks to him, I now have a long list of signs that set off blazing red alarm bells in my head, and I steer clear of any boy with a tribal tattoo, a pet tarantula or symptoms of being a pathological liar — just like my ex.

The memories hurt. I’ve wished I could erase them, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”–style, but they’re probably for my own good.

And then there’s the worse kind of ex: the kind that thankfully, you more often than not don’t remember.

The one that was a rebound, a fling or a minor lapse in judgment, tucked away behind your memory until it sort of just fades away with the faces of everyone else you didn’t like too much in college.

After conjuring up these unwanted memories, I can recall that mine A) played Magic the Gathering (at age 20) and B) purposely changed the spelling of his name to a set of letters that were more unusual than actually landing a girlfriend when you’re admittedly playing Magic the Gathering at age 20.

So imagine my revulsion when, as I was on a recent date, something suddenly triggered his memory — complete with shape-shifters, sorcerers and elf warriors alike.

We were at dinner and my date ordered a hamburger. It wasn’t long before I realized that as a result, he had come down with a pretty lethal case of onion breath.

As the night progressed, it bothered me more and more, and when it was time for the goodnight kiss, I could barely stop myself from gagging.

Then it hit me. This wasn’t just any onion breath. This was the same scented onion breath of my misspelled, mistake of a forgotten ex-boyfriend. It all came flooding back. He loved onions, but they took to his breath like I’d never smelled before and despite my refusals to kiss him after the dining hall, he equally refused to stop eating them.

I hated his onion breath more than his stupid, imaginary card game. He’d spoiled four precious months of my college experience; now four years later, here he was, indirectly spoiling my date with someone else.

It definitely didn’t seem fair that my date had to suffer from the actions of an ex, especially one that never really mattered, and especially over something as silly as onions. But I just couldn’t get past the onion breath. Just like I’m not sure I could ever date another guy who sleeps next to a tarantula rather than a teddy bear.

But I guess that’s the point. Maybe each painful scar from every painful relationship serves as a warning sign, protecting us from making the same mistake twice. “Do not enter,” my date’s onion breath seemed to say. “Remember last time?”

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December 9, 2011

OKCupid Integrates Location Based Dating

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: apps, dating, location, matches, mobile, nearby, okcupid, people — admin @ 6:34 pm

Online dating site OkCupid is making a big move today in the mobile space—the service is adding location-based functionality to its Android and iOS mobile apps. For background, OkCupid singles tend to be younger, which is one of the reasons why IAC’s Match.com decided to buy the dating startup for $50 million earlier this year.

The use of mobile apps for dating and even meeting friends is definitely on the rise, and it seems that the future of this industry could lie in mobile platforms. Co-founder Sam Yagan agrees, and says that Grindr, a dating app for Gay men, helped pioneer this. But there’s still room left for innovation in other markets, he says.

Which is why OkCupid is bringing location to the mix with the latest version of its mobile apps. You can now broadcast if you are free, want others to join in plans and more. The bonus of OkCupid is that you can set up the feature to only send these broadcasts to people who are personality and interets matches for you in your location.

Other functionality includes the ability to chat with other people nearby, share photos, and more. If OkCupid finds a good match for you in their database for someone who lives nearby, the app will recommend the potential date. You’ll also be able to browse all your matches nearby.

There’s no doubt that the trend of matching people based on their interests and location is catching on. Andreessen Horowitz-backed LikeALittle is a startup that is also playing in this space. And it would make sense for more dating apps to start including location in their mobile offerings.

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December 7, 2011

Online Dating Services Open Match Opportunities For Smart Lovers

Filed under: dating — admin @ 3:39 am

With the development of Internet online dating has gained enormous popularity, so there is hardly a lonely woman or man of any age that did not give it a try. Longer working days, increased mobility and changing in the traditional romantic concept of intimacy in modern lovers evoked a whole revolution in how we can find our soul mate. Despite the economic challenges that took place recently, online dating has taken a new meaning and doesn’t lose its followers.

Sometimes traditional online dating ways are quite costly though online dating site fees can seem heavy. Most of the dating services allow mates to find their perfect options. For instance, education, height and weight, appearance preferences, life values, relationship opinions, employment background, compatibility tests and aims can become the leading characteristics to find people that would probably like you. At the same time, certain security and safety points are ensured by the website policies and instruments.

The innovative branch in online dating also has biological consistency accommodation, so that the mates are guaranteed to have healthy children and no DNA mismatches. Though these investigations and studies seem to be not romantic, they still have some chemical explanation for love processes and deserve to be paid attention to. Can you believe that you fall in love with people with testosterone or estrogen levels that complement your own?

In spite of numerous online dating service advantages stated above, you still should follow some of the reasonable guidelines in looking for love.

You should always stick to the online dating websites that have real love stories, are reputable and enjoy popularity with Internet users. You have to define for yourself what you want. If it’s just a thoughtless not so serious relationship you want to create, you should never complaint about the same feelings on your chosen partner behalf. Moreover, if your intention is shallow, you should inform the other side about it immediately to avoid further problems, broken hearts and hurt feelings.

If you want to find your love quickly and observe a wider variety of candidates, you have to be friendly, communicative and active. If you do nothing, online dating service won’t get you married. You can’t wait to get noticed by a handsome man or a pretty lady. You should understand that some particular culture backgrounds (like Asian or Latin American) won’t let your chosen partner to be importunate, especially when it comes to women.

If you arranged a meeting for the first time, it’s crucial to see your date in a public place and not tell him/her about your home address. If you are a gentleman, pay for the bill. Don’t drink much alcohol and don’t trust a lot people who you hardly know. If something evokes your uncertainty or suspicion, give up. In case your candidate is perfect in all aspects and it’s about a week that you have been dating, than your online dating service did a great job to bring you happiness!

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December 6, 2011

5 Best Ways to Meet Men if You Are Over 35 and Divorced

Filed under: dating, life, meeting, people, research, single, women — Tags: dating, life, meeting, people, research, single, women — admin @ 10:46 am

I get so many female clients who are over 35 and divorced who come to me operating under the assumption that they are at an automatic dating disadvantage because of their age. They tell me how frustrated they are trying to date being in the “over 35” age group.

Let me tell you something. They could not be more wrong. The biggest problem that these women have is not their age, but their mindset. So to any women who are in this demographic and feel like these women do about dating as an “over 35,” here are five of the best ways to meet men if you are over 35.

1. If You Believe It Then It’s True: Do you remember the famous Henry Ford quote “Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right?” I have found that you can meet amazing people anywhere and at any age. It’s all about having an abundance mindset. So many people listen to their friends or the monkey chatter in their own head telling them all the obstacles that stand in their way as a single woman over the age of 35. Many times this comes from other single friends.

I don’t listen to friends like this, because I find that many singles have attitudes that are just ridiculous. They love to buy into the negative, instead of the positive. I hear so many people who live in Los Angeles tell me that Los Angeles is the worst place to date if you’re a woman over 35. Really?! It’s the biggest city in the country and there’s no one to meet if you’re a woman over 35? C’mon!

What happens is that people will manifest the things on which they focus. So if women are focusing on disappointment, scarcity and failure in their dating life, then that’s what they are going to experience in their dating life. I have found that you can always find someone who will agree with you when you are looking for confirmation about something negative because most people are negative. Most people love to commiserate, and most people really like having others commiserate with them. So the first thing you need to do is to change your mindset.

2. Take A Good Look At Yourself: I want to give you a little bit of a wake-up call. I want to challenge you to look deep inside your life. If you have had trouble meeting men, I want you to ask yourself if you’ve really done enough on your part to meet them.

Just like I tell singles of any age, your perfect person is not just going to show up at your doorstep one day with flowers and a bottle of wine in hand. You need to be proactive. So I want you to ask yourself if you’ve done enough. Have you really networked as much as you can? Have you gone on a great online dating site, wrote a really good profile and started contacting some men online? Have you researched what things are going on in your area to which you could go?

Have you truly done everything you possibly can do, because I seriously doubt that there are no men in their 40s that you can date. I just think that you’ve been frustrated, and you’ve let that get to you. It happens to a lot of single people . . . but take time now to “reset” and regroup.

3. Do Your Research: The next thing to do is to do a little “homework.” Do some research and find out what things are going on and available in your area. See what things are interesting to you. Don’t choose things you have no personal interest in just because you think there might be men there to meet. You will not only have more fun, but will also be most successful meeting people, when you are enjoying your life and creating good energy. At the same time, though, be open to lots of possibilities.

Here are some ideas for you to research. Try finding out about happy hours that are out there for people in their 40s. Consider speed dating events. Try having lunch in areas where there are hospitals where you can meet doctors. Go where lawyers are hanging out around lunchtime or during happy hours. Have you thought about going to car dealerships? Many of the high-end ones actually have parties. Go to one and tell them you’d love to come to one of their parties when they have new car releases. There’s networking events like Toastmasters where people will go and they will speak. There are fundraisers. Think outside the box and get researching.

4. Make A List: So, I’m challenging you right now to put together a list. Find at least ten places you can go or ten things you can do in your town other than what I’ve suggested. I had a client one time who actually went to hospital and had lunch every single day because she wanted to meet a doctor. Sure enough, after two and-a-half months she did meet a doctor. It’s all about pursuing what you want and taking the steps to get it.

5. Get Out There!: Now that we’ve talked about your mindset, had you do some research and even had you make a list, the only thing left to do is to actually get yourself out there and start meeting people. Life is in the field. Life is about enjoying the moment. Nothing happens for those who sit and wait though. So challenge yourself to take action every day. You won’t believe what is waiting out there for you!

Following these five tips will get you well on your way to meeting lots of men. For all of the women who are over 35, there are tons of amazing and available men out there for you to meet. Think abundance and you will find them.

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