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November 9, 2011

The Top 5 “Myths and Truths” About Online Dating for 50-Plus Singles

Filed under: dating, myth, online, people, romantic, single, singles, truth — Tags: dating, myth, online, people, romantic, single, singles, truth — admin @ 8:21 am

Even with countless singles joining online dating sites every day, many people are still unsure about this method of meeting. Today OurTime.com, the largest online dating community catering to singles over 50, announced the top five most common misconceptions about online dating. To debunk the myths and learn the truth, site staff turned to OurTime.com’s official Relationship Expert, Dr. Gail Saltz.

“Many singles over 50 are either afraid to get back into the dating game or believe there is still a stigma attached to online dating,” said Dr. Saltz. “We wanted to do some myth-busting and set the record straight. Not only is this one of the most fulfilling times of a person’s life, finding a companion to share it with is easier than you might think – especially if you use online dating to your advantage.”

Below are the top five “Myths” and corresponding “Truths” about online dating for singles over 50.

“Most single people are much younger than me – it’s much harder to find people my age.”

Truth: The truth is that there are many more potential mates out there than people think. According to 2010 U.S. Census data, almost 30 percent of the 78 million Baby Boomers are single. Every day, thousands of those single Boomers venture online to find companionship. And unlike the average social event or stroll through the grocery store, everyone in an online dating setting is single and looking to meet someone.

“I should wait to join a dating site until I’m ready to get married again.”

Truth: The 50-plus singles polled in a recent national survey tend to be less interested in marriage than they are in companionship and long-term relationships. Helping to relieve the pressure to marry is the fact that singles in this stage of life are generally free of the expectations of child rearing and career advancement. This allows them to approach dating from a more relaxed perspective. Their main objective is simply to live life to the fullest, and to find someone to share the good times with.

“Online dating is risky.”

Truth: Dr. Saltz tells singles that whether they met online or in the real world, keeping a few simple tips in mind will ensure a safe and positive experience. For starters, always meet in public and drive yourself to and from the first few meetings; tell a friend about your plans for the date; Google your date’s name in advance to see what comes up; limit your drinking and don’t do anything that would impair your judgment; and finally, listen to your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, just move on. The right person for you is out there somewhere.

“Online dating is expensive and takes a lot of time and energy.”

Truth: Some of its main advantages are that online dating is efficient, convenient and cost-effective. You can take things at your own pace, from the comfort of your home, at any hour of the day or night. This allows you to expand your pool of potential matches and be in control of when, where and how you meet other singles. Membership costs at OurTime.com average less than $5 dollars per week. That’s less than many people spend on coffee!

Meeting interesting new people and finding a romantic partnership are great ways to support one’s overall health and happiness (read: increase energy!). A whopping 97 percent of OurTime.com users agree that romantic relationships are good for one’s health. And 93 percent agree that having a romantic relationship is an important part of overall happiness.

“People will judge me if they know I am dating online.”

Truth: These days, everyone knows someone who met their mate online. And the results are often extremely positive: one in five new relationships and one in six new marriages began with an Internet date. In the last year, the number of dating site users 50 years of age or older has grown twice as rapidly as any other age group (comScore). The OurTime.com community has experienced astonishing membership growth of more than 400 percent over the last two years, becoming the leader in 50-plus dating. Almost 10,000 people join each day. Friends and family will be thrilled to learn that you are actively seeking companionship, in a new way that works for you.

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November 7, 2011

Million Dollar Dating Tips

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: advice, date, dating, fashion, look, millionaires — admin @ 10:32 pm

Do you have curly red hair, wear baggy yellow clothes and wear lots of jewelry? No wonder you’re still single! So says Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger, who is doling out dating advice, fashion style.

Stanger says your appearance on a first date — or second, or third — should be all about sexual cues. This means avoid man repellers like crunchy curls and Rachel Zoe bag lady outfits. Oh, and if you’re a redhead? Break out the Miss Clairol, because rich guys don’t go for gingers.

“I can’t get my millionaires to date a redhead — it has nothing to do with me,” Stanger told Today.com. “I can’t make my millionaires pick what I want; It’s not me; it’s the men.”

“Men who are wealthy like straight hair, they like to run their hands through it, not get tangled in there like it does with curls. And honestly, very few women have perfect curls. Unless you’re Andie McDowell, the curls just look messy.”

Now about that outfit… Stanger says boho looks hobo and men want nothing to do with it.

“No woman should be walking around in boho,” Stanger says. “It might look great on Rachel Zoe, but we all don’t have her body. How are you going to wear a tent dress and expect to get laid?”

“The girl with the great legs should wear a mini skirt, the girl with the swan neck should not be hiding in a turtleneck.”

Stanger advises dating hopefuls to avoid yellows and pumpkins and instead go for jewel tones.

Also, stop loading yourself down with jewelry, hats and scarves. “People over-accessorize and it’s just overwhelming,” she says. “Men will look at you and think you’re just too high maintenance.”

What’s Stanger’s most important piece of dating fashion advice? “I always say, ’Don’t wear your diamonds to a date, or he has nothing to buy you.’”

Wise words.

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November 6, 2011

Let’s Get Medical Before We Get Physical

Filed under: dating, friends, guys, love, medical, women — Tags: dating, friends, guys, love, medical, women — admin @ 7:31 pm

“So, what’s your medical history, madame? Anything unusual I should know about?”

Imagine a guy breaking the ice in a potential relationship with those opening lines. Not very classy, true. But in this day and age, it might be understandable. Apart from concern about STDs and other diseases and such, the one posing the question might also want to know whether the person he is hitting on is a genetic female or a transitioned female.

Thing is, most guys wouldn’t dream of posing such a question. And most don’t know much about transitioned people, anyway, and wouldn’t think to ask. But, when it comes to dating, the trans person must raise the subject about her medical history. Yah, it sucks, but the guy needs to know as early as possible. It’s only fair to him.

Experience has shown me that some guys are absolutely not interested in any woman who has transitioned, no matter how beautiful she may be physically, mentally or spiritually. It’s out of the question for them. Others guys are cautious, but willing to at least meet for lunch or something and see how it goes. And then there are those who don’t care at all about this particular aspect of one’s medical history. They might care if you have an STD, but the fact that you transitioned is irrelevant to them. (If either have STDs, that needs to be brought out into the open pretty darn early, too.)

Some friends and I were sharing some wine and talking about all this tonight. And we took it a little farther.

It’s not enough for a transitioned woman on the verge of a new relationship to reveal her medical history. She should probably also ask the guy: How might the people in your various circles react when they learn you are dating a transitioned woman? Are you prepared to deal with negative reactions from family and/or friends?

Yah, again, it sucks big time that anyone should have to pose such questions. Problem is, there is a lot of prejudice against and misunderstanding about transitioned people, and it can be very awkward for the guy if he is suddenly shunned by family members because he loves someone they reject. It happens. He might ultimately find himself having to choose between the woman he loves and family.

Experience has also shown me that some guys will stand by their woman, regardless of what others might say or do. But there are some who weigh all the possibilities and bow out. I can’t criticize them, just as I couldn’t criticize the guys who reject transitioned women outright. To each their own. And it’s better to get the matter dealt with sooner than later. Sure, we transitioned women might hope that by holding back the information for a while , the guy might fall in love with us and overlook the medical history when we finally tell him. But think again: it could provoke a very angry response if it is left too long, ie. “You deceived me!”

I mentioned to my friends tonight that all this seems to make it more difficult, though not impossible, for a transitioned woman to find love.

“Hey, it’s not so easy for genetic women to find love, either,” one of them said. She is a genetic woman. “There are a lot of lonely single women out there. Especially women in their 50s.”

She’s right, of course. And how many single guys in their 50s are looking for anything resembling life partnerships? Not many, I wager. Many of them have been there and done that.

Again, in my experience, I have found that guys generally appreciate it when you break the news to them early. “Thanks for being upfront about it” is a common reaction. “Let’s do lunch and see how it goes.”

Or, sometimes they don’t respond at all.

The funniest(?) response I ever had was a guy on a dating site who thanked me for sharing the information with him, assured me that it was no problem, and then said something to this effect:

“Well, since we’re sharing personal information, here’s something you should know: I’m married.”

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