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September 29, 2011

Online Dating Sites Know You Better Than You Know Yourself

Filed under: algorithm, criteria, guys, looking, match, online, profiles, site, woman — Tags: , , , , , , , , — admin @ 2:29 pm

Dating online involves doing awkward stuff like describing your taste in music and explaining what your hypothetical “perfect” match would be like. But when it comes right down to it, what you say you want is not necessarily what will make you happy. And the folks behind Match.com know this.

As David Gelles writes for the Financial Times, Match.com has been working on an “improved matchmaking algorithm.” Mandy Ginsberg, the president of the site, tried JDate when she got out of college but is married to someone she used to work with — and he’s not Jewish. “If I had laid out a criteria for what I was looking for, it would not have been a guy from south India,” she says. “People are complex.” So Match.com uses a complicated algorithm that attempts to “learn” from a user’s habits.

Amarnath Thombre, a engineer at Match.com, explains further: “Before, matches were based on the criteria you set. You meet her criteria, and she meets yours, so you’re a good match… But when we researched the data the whole idea of dissonance came into focus. People were doing something very different from the things they said they wanted on their profile.”

Gelles interviews a woman, Karrah O’Daniel, who in October will marry a man she met online. She was looking for a dude between the ages of 21 and 26; he was 28; she was looking for a guy whose body was “about average” or “athletic and toned”; he described himself as “stocky.” “We didn’t match, but you can’t really sum up a person in a check box,” says O’Daniel. Gelles points out that O’Daniel and her fiancé never really searched for one another at all — the site suggested he check out her profile. “They were introduced by the algorithm.”

For instance: If you claim you’re not interested in older guys but click on the profiles of a bunch of older guys, the algorithm will realize that you’re open to older guys and start suggesting profiles of men above your age limit. The formula is big business: Match.com is owned by digital media group IAC. Last year Match.com and IAC’s other online dating sites generated $401 million. (IAC also owns Chemistry.com and OkCupid.)

The question, of course, is whether or not this algorithm means Match.com is successful. You hear a few romantic tales like Karrah O’Daniel’s, and then there are the other stoires.

“The Match algorithm should have figured out that I don’t want a 45-year-old from New Jersey,” said one frustrated thirty-something professional woman from Manhattan. “Every time I log on I feel faintly insulted.”

Maybe love is the one problem computers can’t solve.

September 27, 2011

Is It Prostitution?

By Daily Mail Reporter

A website has been accused of promoting prostitution by helping cash-strapped college students pay off their debts by dating older men.

SeekingArrangement.com offers its “sugar babies” the opportunity to collect money through ‘dates’ with older, more financially set men.

One of the site’s users, “Taylor,” said she was paid $350 to have sex with a man more than twice her age.

Taylor said: “I just wanted to get out of that situation as safely as possible, pay off my debt, and move on.”

Brandon Wade, the founder of Seeking Arrangement, told the Huffington Post that business is booming.

“Over the past few years, the number of college students using our site has exploded.

“College students are one of the biggest segments of our sugar babies and the numbers are growing all the time.’

The “sugar daddies” are offered companionship and possibly much more, depending on how much they’re willing to pay.

And Seeking Arrangement isn’t alone – several other sites operate under the same pretenses.

And this raises the question: Are Seeking Arrangement’s 800,000 members guilty of prostitution?

Ronald Weitzer, a sociology professor at George Washington University, said: “Under the banner of sugar daddy and sugar baby arrangements, a lot of prostitution may be going on.”

Las Vegas lawyer Allen Lichtenstein said the legal parameters of prostitution are clouded.

Mr Lichtenstein said: “Any relationship that is an ongoing one that’s not purely about sex but may have a sexual aspect to it, you can’t really classify as prostitution.”

A study in Berlin found one in three students there would consider sex-for-money trades as a reasonable way to fund education.

September 24, 2011

Cloud Girlfriend Launches as a Dating Site for Role Players

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 1:29 pm

Get your head in the clouds. That’s the tagline for Cloud Girlfriend, a new dating website that wants to help you find the perfect girlfriend. Problem is, you won’t be able to go on any actual, real-life dates with that girlfriend once you find her because she’ll be fake. Not computer-generated fake, but fake in the way that your mom always worried about when she first sent you off on your own into the wilds of AOL chatrooms and message boards as a kid. These are other people, based somewhere in the real world. Other people with (presumably) day jobs and a lives who like to imagine themselves as someone else. It’s role-playing on the web.

“We allow people to define their ideal self, find their perfect girlfriend or boyfriend and connect and interact as if that person existed,” David Fuhriman, the co-founder of Cloud Girlfriend, told TechCrunch’s Alexia Tsotsis. “It can help in learning how to manage a real relationship, and they then take it into the real world,“ he added, describing his start-up as a combination of Match.com and Second Life.

It took a while for Fuhriman’s idea to be realized. It’s been in the works for a while now, first as a site that would allow users to create fake Facebook profiles and interact with others through that account. But that idea ran up against a lot of bad press as it would conflict with Facebook’s Terms of Service and force many users of the social network who are uncomfortable with anonymity on the web to rethink their profiles’ very existence. How many of your Facebook friends want to receive incessant pokes from fake user accounts?

Cloud Girlfriend, now a standalone site, will keep all role players linked together and confined to one Internet ghetto where they can flirt — and poke, or its Cloud Girlfriend equivalent — all they want without irritating others. Women can sign up easily; men need a code passed along from another user.

Fuhriman plans to monetize the site by allowing users to send virtual goods to each other: Cloud Diamonds, Cloud Flowers, even a Cloud Vacation.

While I think this site is far-fetched — I live virtually, but not anonymously — don’t dismiss it yet. Five minutes after Tsotsis joined, she writes, she had a date.

10 Rules for Chaste Dating

Filed under: activities, children, date, dating, marriage, rules, sexual — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 3:28 am

By Fr. C. John McCloskey

Ten Ways to Chaste Dating for the over-21 Crowd and for those who live Outside the Home

Please note that teenagers should never “date” without supervision.

Alas, there is little one can do for college students who live in co-ed dorms except follow the below rules to the best of their ability. May St. Joseph and the Blessed Mother be your witnesses.

1. The purpose of dating is to find the person you wish to marry, the one who will become the father or mother of your children. Keep that always in mind and terminate the relationship if and as soon as you realize this is not the person.

2. Never allow yourself to be alone in a closed room or parked car with your date.

3. Always plan to be active on a date. Have activities lined up (backup plans too) so you don’t find yourself in a position or situation of idleness. Offense is good defense. Think of activities that will provide opportunities for growth in knowledge of God, each other, and self. Make a regular practice of worshipping and praying together.

4. Dress appropriately for the occasion but always modestly.

5. Regardless of who “pays” for the date no one “owes” anybody anything.

6. Any actions that cause sexual arousal (need I define them?) are to be avoided, including forms of dancing that are designed to cause it. Help each other to say no.

7. A peck, a quick kiss (mouths closed), a brief hug or holding hands are permissible, they are non-sexual expressions of affection.

8. Don’t kid yourself. You are no different from anyone else. Don’t count on your self-control. You are weak! You just can’t go “so far.”

9. Your soul is at stake and perhaps a happy marriage and a possible vocation.

10. The road to chastity is paved with prayer, the Eucharist, and reading of the New Testament. If you fail, have recourse to the Sacrament of Penance as soon as possible and begin again.

Follow these rules and make sure your date or companion does also and the search for a spouse and courtship can be a joy. Otherwise you may become accomplices in deadly sin and guilty of objectifying another person for sexual pleasure. Keep these rules and you will be able to look at your children right in the eyes when you have to guide them on their way to marriage and family.

September 18, 2011

Dating Agency Matches Single Women To Farmers

Filed under: australia, girls, guys, single, women — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 11:34 pm

Pop singer Beyonce told single ladies to put their hands up, but maybe she should have directed them Down Under.

A dating agency is shuttling busloads of single women to rural areas in hopes that they’ll find lonely farmers, according to an article in the London Telegraph.

Contacted by CNN late Friday, Brie Peters said she got the idea for the single women tours from a chance encounter.

“I’m lucky enough to have some friends that live in the outback of Australia,” she said, “and we were at a pub one night and the pub owner said, ‘Brie, you’ll be interested in this, ‘I know a lot of single women that send me letters’ ” looking for rural men, she said.

Peters said she came up with a tour service, Thank Goodness He’s a Country Boy, that caters to women but also addresses a serious issue in Australia’s urban areas: Evidently it’s where the boys aren’t.

In 2008 a book by author Bernard Salt stated Australia had nearly 100,000 more women than men in its metropolitan areas. The book even had maps that showed where the guys were.

Is it that bad for single women in Australia, particularly in New South Wales, Queensland and Melbourne, areas where Peters operates her agency?

In February a Brisbane radio station ran a promotion, Running of the Brides, that pitted women in bridal dresses in a race after one man. The pre-Valentines Day stunt was a gas, but the event was put on after statistics that showed there were seven women to every one man in the city.

Peters, who also owns an event company, said she remains single despite running into great guys every time she organizes a tour.

“What we do is we take the city girls out to the country and throughout the day. The women get fully pampered, they get makeup, they go out to eat and the guys put on a massive show,” she said.

Peters said she’s been doing the tours for about six months now and has an “85% success rate.” She said her biggest outing consisted of 200 women heading to the dust roads and Outback bush in search of menfolk.

But don’t think the men aren’t screened, Peters said.

“I try to go out into the town and meet as many of the guys as I can beforehand,” she said, “because many of them are shy. They aren’t just farmers, either. They are plumbers, run-of-the-mill normal, ordinary men.”

The girls night out does come with a cost: Peters said she charges $350 for women and $50 for men.

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